In full hustle mode Anything goes. As long as it’s not guns, drugs or prostitution, I’m game.
Made 250,000/- in the last four days. Quick deals, easy cash. Being a middleman has its perks.
Still trying to swim out of these murky debt waters.
One day at a time.
One breath. One step.
I’m struggling with something. Been struggling for a while now, actually.
Business ideas. In plenty. Funding. Zero.
I have a subliminal fear of being stabbed in the back by business partners. You know. Start a venture together, push hard. And then you get kicked out. Somehow. Maybe hostile take-over. Maybe disagreement. Maybe general un-seriousness of the way I do things. Maybe my ambitions are too low.
Shit happens.
It’s irrational, I know. But shit happens.
More though, I have a hustler mentality. Go solo. Hit the lonely road. Walk alone. It’s an annoying part of me. A reflection of my life. When I wanted something, I went out and got it. Myself. Alone.
But, years of business have taught me. I need to trust. Take a leap of faith and work with people.
This blog was started to raise funding for some ventures on my own. But now. Some people are interested in funding the ventures. It may immediately raise 40% of my target. Which is awesome. Super awesome.
But how much control am I willing to give up?
How much am I willing to sell?
We can rationalise it. I know. Do the maths. Capital investment versus projected returns on investment versus growth rate. The usual blah.
But.
How much of the dream am I willing to sell. For solid cash, but ownership worries.
How much control do I want to give up?
See, power. It’s nothing without control.
Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems empty.
Alphonse de Lamartine
Ha ha ha. Essente zi genda ku jja, nyabo.
It’s been 25 days since my last entry. 25 days since my eyes widened with a gut-clenching realization. The realization that somehow, in my careful plans, there was a loop-hole. One that had expanded. Grown. Like a monster. And now, was… is a gaping chasm.
I was screwed. I lost money. Lots of it. More importantly, I lost time. Time I cannot get back. Ever. And even more importantly, I lost a relationship. With old friends and colleagues.
I knew them. Trusted them.
They knew I had history with that particular project. They knew I didn’t want it. I knew it wasn’t a good idea. But they convinced me. And I chose to trust them.
Again.
Why? The money was good. I needed money. The old problem was gone. I was glad. I took the offer.
And they let me down.
Again.
The mockery of repetitive foolishness. Guffawing and breathing down my shamed neck.
I always tell myself I’m strong. Been through shit. Deep shit. Mind-boggling shit. And then some. And I believed I’d become stronger. Immune to such petty distractions.
But this. This has hit me hard in the gut. So hard I was down and out for 25 days. Moping. Whining. Hating. And wanting to lash out at them.
But then I realized… It was me I hated.
I wanted to lash out at myself. For being foolish. Gullible. And forgetting why I walk this road. Why I walk it alone.
So fuck that.
I’ve decided no more whining. No more complaining. I’m moving on.
Those that know me. If you hear me bring this up again, hit me. Hard as you can. Knock some sense back into my stupid noggin.
In the meantime, the time I lost. I have to make up for it. I’m deeper in debt. Much deeper. And I haven’t made any significant progress towards the $27,500.
So. Dusting myself off. Starting new.
But not from Day 1. Reboots are for wusses.
Day 74. Let’s roll.
PS: Thank you. For bearing with my whining. You know who you are.
I was wondering where you had disappeared to, kumbe you were at the School of Hard Knocks. Pole sana!
It is probably the most annoying thing to say right now, but I am going to say it anyway. Everything happens for a reason and whether or not this reason becomes apparent, rejoice.
Now, come and I dust off the ka remaining dirt and you go and make us some money (I am calculating my cheerleading cut, you see…)
Thanks for the support Mama Pete. It has been a tough few days.
A reason huh? I sincerely hope this particular one turns out for the better. For the much better.
It’s been too long. I lost a loved one. Family drama took over the hustle.
Then I got screwed. Royally. By some clients. And set me back 6 million shillings. Yes. It was going to be quite the entry.
6 million. Gone. Woosh. Hurts like a mothafucka.
But. Still pushing for the payment to come through.
Wish me luck.
I am hurting too… good luck! And condolences on the bereavement.
Thanks Pete’s Mama.
About the time we can make the ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
Herbert Hover
Lol! Life does feel like that a lot. Especially in the past year or so. Ola, Hustler.
Ola, Pete’s Mama!
Previous post validated. Another project completed in 4 hours, 20 minutes. Because of a small unavoidable interruption. Looking good.
Gotta go with the flow.
I’ve been struggling to find balance. Juggling about 4 different gigs. Jobs, deals, part-time projects, whatever you call them. There are officially, not enough hours in a day.
But, I’ve found the beginning of balance. All I need to do is sit still and focus. For four hours. No distractions. No internet, no walking about, no meetings, no interruptions. Works like a charm. For now.
Will keep experimenting.
I need to fine-tune this balance.
Target Update.
140,000/= came through last week. And 100,000/= this week. Some very side deals. Not much of a dent. Promptly spent.
Total collected so far: 1,105,000/=
Yes! Crossed the million shilling mark.
I have a theory.
I believe that the immediate world around you echoes the spirit within.
If your house, room or office are chaotic. And disorganized, then your spirit is in turmoil. You are scatter-brained. There’s no focus. No strong sense of commitment or achievement.
If, however, there is order around you, then your spirit is at peace. Or at the very least, your thoughts are rational. And organized. You have a strong sense of direction. And focus.
Taking advantage of one, or the other is the path to victory.
Some thrive in chaos. Others, order. Both have harnessed their mindsets. They are at peace with their inner spirit.
I wonder. Where I am. Where are you?
There are many hindrances to success. 99% of them within our control.
The biggest? Fear.
For some, the fear of risk. For others, the fear of failure. And for others yet? The fear of success itself. And what it brings.
Fear strikes all of us. Deep down, we imagine our deepest, darkest moments. And we are paralyzed.
My biggest hindrance to success is not the common man’s fear. I’m not afraid of risk. Or failure. Or success, for that matter.
My biggest hindrance is apathy. Comfort. Assumptions that what I’m doing is enough. This sweet little spot. Where everything is just perfect.
The sad fact? I have been in this same place. For almost 6 years. I haven’t pushed myself. I think I’m okay. I think the issues, drama I’m having now will pass soon. But it’s been the same issues. The same drama. The same cycles.
6 years.
Fuck.
Around me, time doesn’t wait. Ideas die. Dreams fade. Life? It goes on, without missing a beat.
Slow realizations. Slow steps. I’ve been trying to change. But slow is not good. Slow is apathy. Slow is comfort.
Slow is fear.
I’ve been afraid. So very afraid. Afraid of leaving this place of comfort. Lying to myself, and to the world that I am the best there is.
When all I am, is a memory of past success.
No more.
I’m re-crafting my destiny. Pushing aside the cobwebs around me. Opening up windows. Letting the light stream in. Showing the filth I’ve covered myself with.
And that’s where this blog comes in. Audacity. A chronicle of change. A journey that once completed will show me a new me.
There are many hindrances to success.
I’m removing my last one.
Goodbye, apathy.
Dude, I hear you 120%. Apathy is far worse than fear. Most of the time, u brush it aside as not your passion or calling or whatever. But I too have suffered this for 7years. How do u fight apathy tho? Thats the big question.
petesmama are discussing. 
Owaye, va ku love! We want money!